My goodness yesterday was such an awful day.
I didn't want to be at work, everything was bothering me and nothing nor no one was able to make me happy. I just wanted to go home put on my running shoes and just run. I didn't get to do that though. I stayed at work and did what I had to do like a responsible adult. I honestly feel like I just need a break from work, not a weekend but a few weeks. Winter break is coming up but I feel like that isn't even near enough to what I need.
What made things worse is the one person I would hope to pay some attention to me just wouldn't. He was just ignoring me. Yes, husband was being mean to me yesterday but he didn't mean it. He has so much going on with him that I need to learn to just be independent. The thought of that just made me feel worse. It's depressing to think just how much his time overseas changed him and how a part of him died. Yes, he came back to me but he isn't the same. I've learned to accept it but there are moments in which I just break down. Maybe with time things will change, I will feel better and this won't be an issue for me anymore.
When I got home from a long day at work I noticed the house was very clean and dinner was made. I didn't ask husband if he had cleaned the house because at the moment I just needed silence. After dinner I went over my parents' house and the first thing my mom asked me was if I was mad. I had no reason to be but then she asked if I was mad because she and my dad cleaned the my house! I was in aww! My parents had gone over my house to get some wrapping paper (yes, they have keys to my house) and I guess they took it upon themselves to clean the house. I had been putting it off for a few weeks now, planning to just clean everything during my winter break. Now all I have to do is just keep it up. I'm so thankful to have such wonderful caring parents. This made my day feel so much better. I felt loved!
Then darkness came, and off to bed we went to get our much needed rest for work the next day (today). While laying there I just cried, something in me just needed to let everything go and when I did I felt better. In all reality sometimes you just need to cry, let all the awfulness of the day out and just be a mess for a while.
Today is a new day, while I still don't feel 100% better it is a lot better than how I felt yesterday! I'm just sitting around listening to beautiful music and trying to laugh and smile as much as I can!
I can't stop listening to this song, yes, it's from Twilight but worry not I am not one of those crazy Twilight fan, I'm hardly a fan. I was forced to read the books.
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