A Different Kind of Love

Over the weekend I kept thinking about this quote, it's so true. There have been times in which I wonder if Mr. Husband loves me as much as he says he does. 

I'm a romantic. 

I write love letters/notes, I place them in his wallet, I place them in his lunch box, I leave them in his car. 

I take pictures of myself smiling and send them to him for when he gets off of work he can see my smile he loves so much, there are times in which we don't see each other until late. 

I pick up little gifts here and there and leave them for him to see when he gets home from work. 

I text song lyrics that hit close to home.

I dedicate songs that remind of him.

I make note of special anniversaries.  

 Mr. Husband doesn't do anything like this and so I always wondered just how much he loved me... 

But wait... 

The above quote is one that I will always keep in mind and remember in times in which I feel that Mr. Husband doesn't love me as he says he does. He loves me in his own way...

Mr. Husband cooks and has dinner ready for when I get home from work, school or the gym. 

Mr. Husband does the laundry and puts the laundry away. 

He cleans the kitchen and after himself. 

Mr. Husband spoils me, cares for me, and treats me like a princess.

Mr. Husband loves me in his own way and it's an awesome way!

Whenever I feel that he may not love me because he doesn't love me the way that I want him to, I will always remember that he loves me with his all. Sometimes we all need to step back and realize that yes, people do love you and they love you in their own way. 

That Holiday so Many Love to Hate

Remember grade school?

When every one of us would be excited about passing out valentine cards, candies, goodies? Everything was so much simpler then. There were no couples, well no real serious ones. There was no drama. Everyone was shown love and everyone received something that day. Now, oh how time has changed us! Why is it that after grade school we ended this tradition?

What changed? Why is it that we no longer let our friends know just how much they means to us? Have we forgotten just how important our friends are to us? Aren't they still? To me the few that I have, I hold them near and dear to my heart. I may get upset and cry over the things that they do that cause some pain but I get over it, forgive and move on. I'm sure that from time to time I cause pain to my fellow loved ones. I don't mean to... but that is a whole different story and there is no need to get into that.

Either way, the silly goose that I am, this year again I am sending out valentines day cards to let them know that they are loved. We need to remember that Valentines day is not only for couples, for people in love... it is also for friendship! We must not forget about our friends this day, our single friends, our married friends and our coupled up friends. Everyone needs to be loved. Lets let go of the bitterness some of us hold for this hallmark holiday and celebrate it for everyone that we love.

Buy a bag of candy, chocolates and just hand them out to your family, friends, co-workers. Everyone that you want to show that they are cared about! I'm sure that every person that you remember that day will be thankful for it! Even the girl at work that gets the dozen roses, sure she has someone loving her but I'm sure she will also love to feel appreciated as a friend, sister, mother, grand-daughter and so on. Either way, don't let this upcoming holiday bring you down because if you're not in a relationship I'm sure you are still LOVED!

While I have many friends I love these two are the ones that I feel are always around and I can count on but still... this year I plan to change that. I plan to hang out with many more of my girls!

So girls, guys all of you! Remember your friends and all your loved ones this year... be the first to make the change.

Why I Love Being Married

I’m not going to lie; I use to not want to get married. I remember telling my parents that I just wasn’t going to get married, ever. Why? Well because I saw marriage as a way to control the woman. I didn’t want to be stuck being controlled and not being able to live my life. I wasn’t allowed to do much growing up and getting married just seemed like a step down. I didn’t want to have to change my name to HIS name because I saw it as ownership. I didn’t want to change who I was. Needless to say, I was young and didn’t know much about marriage. I didn’t see anything positive about it. Oh how things have changed…

Now, going on five years this year of being married I have to say that I love being married! Now, I understand that marriage is not for everyone. I’m not saying that everyone needs to get married. Some people just do better without marriage in their relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. If you know what works for you and what works for your relationship then YAY! I’m happy for you.

This is why I love being married…

Companionship
Love
LaughterSex
Connection

Shared adventures and dreams
Passion Friendship
Staying in and watching a movie together
Deep conversations
Simple conversations

Hearing someone say “I LOVE YOU”
Being able to tell someone “I LOVE YOU”
All the inside jokes between us
Memories of past experiences together Trust

Support

Watching him change as years pass us by
Holding hands

Someone to wake up next to
Having a best friend

Having someone to spoil
Having someone to spoil you

Shared Values
Someone to help take care of you when you’re sick

Seeing him from across the room
Lazy weekends together

Shared responsibilities of life

Silliness together
A driver on road trips
Being out of the “dating scene”

Entering a room or restaurant together
Long kisses
Knowing I have a partner to go through life with

Now you don’t have to be married to have this, I’m sure many of you that are in wonderful committed relationships may have all of this already but this is why I love being married. Mr. Husband is the most amazing man I have ever met. He is always there to hold my hand, to make me smile and support me. Ten years ago I never thought I would find anyone that would make me want to change my thoughts or values. Then I met Husband, Juan Zamorano and my life turned upside down. Eight years ago we had our first kiss and went through a year of change. Today he is my husband, I am his wife and life couldn’t be better. I guess sometimes you just have to meet the right person and it has to be the right time in your life to want to get married. I’m happy that I was open minded and willing to change but I was only willing to change for him because of how deep my love ran. I'm thankful that he is not the husband I feared. He does not try to control me and didn't even mind when I didn't change my name and still haven't. I'm one lucky lady.

Why do you love being married? Why do you love being in a relationship?

Love keeps me going...

Lets be honest.
No marriage or relationship is perfect.

I like to think that Husband and I have all the answers. That we're always happy and that nothing gets us down. Well that isn't close to the truth. Yes, 99% of the time we are as happy as can be but last month marriage was so hard. We were drowning and we didn't know what to do and didn't know who to turn to. Through it, I learned to be strong again. I learned to be independent again. I learned to let go and let him have his time on his own because we all need to get away sometimes and there is nothing wrong with that. Through it, I remembered how much I love him, how much in love I am with this man of mine. Through it all, we realized the honeymoon finally ended after three years. The honeymoon may have ended but we didn't. Through it I lost a friend that really wasn't ever a friend to begin with.

In many ways I'm thankful for this time in which I cried, in which I let myself go and just let everything happen but with me still fighting along the way. I learned that nothing is perfect, that our marriage is not perfect but that we're meant for each other despite that.

Some days we love each other more than life itself, other days we have to work at it. I'm happy Husband and I are past the days we had to work at it. Now I know when those days come again, (because let's face it, it's going to happen) we will make it out alive and happy once more.

Our marriage is different, we have so much more against us. His PTSD, his injuries, and my anxiety. Yet, we might have a lot more against us but love keeps me going, keeps us going and we're going to make it.

Three years ago he wore black and she wore white...

Happy 3 year anniversary to the Husband! Three years ago we married in the eyes of God with family and friends as our witnesses. It was such a beautiful ceremony! It was a frosty day, that week it rained so much but that day the sky was stunning blue and there was shown in the mountains. It was as though the heavens were smiling down on us and giving us their blessing! I was such a happy bride that day because since the moment I saw Juan I always knew that he and I would marry, it was as though a little angel whispered into my ear that he was the one. I’m so lucky to have found my soul mate and so lucky that he loves me as much as I love him.

Today, I slipped a love note in his lunch box for him to find while at work BUT he didn’t find it so I had to give him a little hint to look for something. Then during my lunch I went out and bought him a hookah and cigar, went home and placed it in the kitchen for him to see when he got home from work before me. Along with a card expressing to him just how happy and in love I am with him. He LOVED it!

When I got home he had a surprise of his own as well! I walked into the kitchen and found red roses and a big wrapped present (he never wraps his gifts), I figured he would get me flowers as he always does but I did not expect that he would have a gift for me too!!!! I opened it and found the cupcake maker that I have been wanting because it is just so cute! I mean look at it! I just about cried when I hugged him, he made me feel so special and made me smile all night long. I felt so loved!

Today I finally figured out what my next tattoo piece will be too! I have wanted a big piece again and I know just what I’m going to get now! I will get the words/date: 12/1/2007 He wore black and she wore white. It will be on ribbon and that ribbon will be wrapped around a day of the dead couple, I want it to be very colorful and it will go on my back. I might just get it this month during my Christmas vacation!