Letter to God

Dear God,

All day I have been deep in thought and have speaking to You in my own way, just now as I write to You I find myself smiling and I know it’s because You’re with me. For weeks now I have felt alone, I have looked for You but could not feel You near me. I wondered why You had left me, what did I do to cause You to abandon me? Negativity was taking over my life and I could not see a drop of color in all the darkness I was faced it with.

I couldn’t understand why I lost them, we had waited for them, prepared our lives for them and as quickly as they came… they left. To lose and accept the loss was close to unbearable… to then have to be faced with worse news just about broke me and almost caused me to turn away from You. I felt as though You had left me and as I felt depressed when I lost my One & Two, this time felt so much worse, nothing nor no one could bring a smile to my face. But, when I felt there was nothing and when I felt my worst… there You were.

I don’t feel alone and I can smile because I feel You near me, beside me. While everyone sleeps, I stay wide awake with my thoughts. Thoughts that would normally break me, now only bring me an ounce of sadness because I know in my heart that You have lifted me and have taken away my pain so that once more I can live. For once, in a long time I do not feel alone because I know You are with me, because You have always been with me, because You knew/know that I could handle this and there will be a reason for it. Yes. I will be sad at times but I shouldn’t ever throw my life away because in time this too will pass and it will just be a dark memory. God, only You know what is to come and I will put my trust in You.

I can go on questioning. I can keep asking “Why me?” I can look back on my life and say, that yes, I’ve done everything right in my life. I’ve always been the good girl so why do I have to go through this? Why did this happen to me? But who do I think I am? What makes me better than everyone else? Only You know why You do what You do. Only You know why You choose this path for me and with this smile that is finally upon my face, I accept the path You have laid out for me. Thank You for the strength You have given me, I now know how strong I truly am.

Amen

“No one can explain how a baby breathes before it is born. So how can anyone explain what God does? After all, He created everything.” Ecclesiastes 11:5



What would you tell yourself at age 14?

I have been looking into the Campaign for Real Beauty by Dove and this was a topic they had on their site. What would you tell you at 14? I found this extremely interesting. Looking back when I was 14 I needed someone to mentor me, I needed someone older and wiser to be there for me. I didn't need yet another friend but I needed someone to truly be there for me. The following is what I would have told me at 14...

Debbie,

I know how you feel, I know what you're going through and what you need to always tell yourself from now on is that this too will pass. No matter how hard life gets, it will pass. All you need to do is keep pushing through it all.

Never forget that yes, you are beautiful, everyone is. At this age and at this point in your life you still have so much more developing to do. You may be skinny and childlike right now but a few years from now you will have amazing curves that people will be jealous of. Those mean girls that pick on you and TRY to ruin your life will never be able to. They are only mean to you because they are truly jealous of you. They don't have any self-respect and see just how respectful you are of yourself and the way that others respect you. They will never have that, and you DO NOT need to ever be like them. Years from now, they will still be doing the same thing and you will be going to college and as always doing something respectful with your life.

Yes, you will be going to college and because of that you need to study more! Every summer take a course at a community college so that you can get a little ahead with college courses. Don't give up and know that when something is hard it is because you're learning and taking in so much from it.  

When it comes to boys, know this; there is no need to have a boyfriend in high school. It may seem so special and magical but half the time they are distractions and only bring problems into your life. When there is a boy that is younger than you and falls for you don't be mean to him. Treat him how you would like to be treated. There will be a boy two years older than you, ignore him and don't give him any time. He will hurt you like no other. In two years you will meet the most amazing boy! He will love you as a friend and you'll wait for him three years before he realizes how deep in love he is for you. Take this time to focus on you because he will always be there for you as a friend.

Get involved in school, write for the high school newspaper, get on the yearbook staff, and never give up on soccer, you'll miss it years later. Enjoy your youth because while it is passing by slow now, when you're an adult it will fly by and life will get hard.

Sincerely,

Debbie at age 26



Me at age 14 with my cousin in Mexico, Grandma's House.



What would you tell YOU at age 14????

Letter to Oreo

Dear Oreo,

It's been over day since I last saw your cute little face, your big brown eyes and big clown feet. I'm sorry I wasn't there to say good-bye, I'm sorry you had to go but you must understand that I had to choose Luna over you. She has been with me for 12 years and counting, she has watched me grow as I have watched her. I don't understand why you didn't like her, why you kept fighting with her and hurting her. I know that she can be a little mean because she doesn't like to play but that is no reason to snatch her food/treats away, that is no reason to attack her and hurt her.

I loved you dearly and it was hard for me to say enough is enough. You and I know that I tried to train you, we gave you time and love but you just would not listen and I don't understand why. We treated you no different from Luna and Pucca. We spoiled you as we spoiled them, we let you sleep on the bed and cuddle with us whenever you wanted. We kept you indoors and worried about you every day as we did with them. We loved you as our own but you just could not accept Luna as your big sister.

I will always love you, remember you... I know you will find a wonderful home. Who can say no to your cute little face. I will always remember how you would watch me get ready in the morning, cuddle with me in the middle of the night and run to the door to greet me after a long day of work. I will always remember your silly little ways, like when you would sleep on the couch's back, how you would sleep under the bed and how you would sleep on my feet. How you would jump into the pool, sit on the steps and just look around enjoying a warm California day. I will miss you as my running partner, you were so good at running with me and you never pulled or tired.

I miss you and love you Oreo, I'm so sorry you had to go,

Your foster mom.

Letter to Those at the Gym

Dear Fellow Gym Goer:

I have been patient with you, all of you! When I’m going to the gym in the afternoon I go because I want to be active after sitting on my butt for eight hours at work. I want to be able to sweat and feel that awesome burn I have been missing all day! I want to feel great after my work out! I want to be healthy and I want to stay healthy.

YET, I can’t do that because you make it impossible for me to utilize the machines I long to use!

If you’re done with the weight machine, get off. Please don’t sit there having your five minute break before you move to the next machine! If you didn’t know before please know now, there are plenty of areas to take your break. Very soft chairs that you can sit in and sleep in if your heart desires it! When you do finally get off the said weight machine PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE clean it! I do not want to sit in your butt sweat! I do not want to have to whip off your butt sweat with my towel that I use to wipe my face! I promise you it’s simple to just clean it and it doesn’t take any time.

Now if you plan to use the cardio machines, good for you! We all need cardio in our lives but actually USE the machine! Don’t stand there talking to your gym partner/friend about this and that. If you didn’t know you can actually talk and walk at the same time. I’m not saying you should run and talk, that might be asking too much of you. But walk and talk! I want to get my cardio in! Oh and those of you that hog the cardio machine during peak hours! Really? Must you stay on it for an hour and then a ten minute cool down? I want to at least use it for 20 minutes to get some kind of cardio in. Let’s play nice and share.

Oh and those of you that just stand around and talk, guess what just because you’re at the gym does not mean you’re working out. You actually have to do something. You have to be active. You have to work out! If you just stand and lean against the wall like at grade school dance you’re going to get nowhere! This is just annoying to me but at least you’re staying out of the way so I can’t be too annoyed with you.

I hope I have made myself clear and everything will work out perfectly from now on.

Respectfully,

ME!


Example of what NOT to do