...and just like that, They're gone.

Last week it was blood work, after blood work, after blood work. Then Friday came and it was test after test. Something wasn't right with LittleBit 1 & 2 and as much as I was trying to stay positive, it was hard. Then came the news Mr. Husband and I were dreading, our babies simply stopped growing and while I was about ten weeks pregnant my babies were only about three weeks old. They just simply stopped growing. The nurse who was handling my case let us know that we had two choices: 

* We could wait another week to see if the babies would grow if not then they would case me to miscarry (or wait for me to miscarry on my own) 

* We could choose to miscarry that day on our time at home

I honestly couldn't go through another week and since the babies had stopped growing at week three it was hard to hold on to hope at that point. So, we decided it would be best to miscarry as hard as it was choose. If not, then I would go on being pregnant, going through all the symptoms and gaining the needed weight knowing that my babies simply stopped growing and I was going to miscarry at any given moment. 

There was nothing I did wrong, I was as healthy as can be to be pregnant but in the middle of everything... the babies just stopped growing. This happens more than people know but women tend to miscarry on their own before they ever find out that they're pregnant. Some women, like myself stay pregnant and then have to have a drugged miscarriage. The RN let us know that this happened to her twice. 

Friday was hard, Saturday was a little more bearable and today, Sunday I finally went out to get some sun. Tomorrow I'm still off of work and by Tuesday I hope to be fine. 

Mr. Husband & I are hoping to be able to try again September maybe October. The RN said that we shouldn't have any problems getting pregnant. This just goes to show me that I can't plan everything. I can't control everything and sometimes I just have to let go and let things happen on their own. I'm not mad though, I have accepted it and know that it all happened for a reason. God has a plan for me and it just wasn't my time to be a mommy. 

I'm thankful though to have such caring and supportive family and friends. I needed time alone with Mr. Husband and I'm thankful that they have been respectful of that. Though there were two that just simply did not understand that and came to our house announced. Rude.

So now, just as quickly as they came they have now left me.