Since my Last Post...

I can’t believe I haven’t written in almost a month! I’m sure by now I’ve lost a few readers but hope to get them back.

Since my last post this has been my life:

1.       I started my English Theory and Criticism class. I’m taking this class so that I can get back to my analytical writing and in the future apply and get accepted into the MFA program. I won’t be applying for that program any time soon though. The program I have applied to is the MPA program (masters in public administration). I’m waiting to hear back if I will be accepted. Needless to say, I’m nervous since I have never taken a public administration course. I applied for the winter quarter which means I may be a graduate student come January 2012!

2.       One of my long time best friends is back in my life and I couldn’t be happier! One day to the next I simply made up my mind to send her a message. Short and sweet. I let her know there was no need to reply since we had a fall out. To my surprise, there she was replying to me and having a conversation with me before work. That night, September 16^th we met up for dinner. I wore a rose in my hair so that she could recognize me though it wasn’t truly needed. We poured our hearts out and caught up on each other’s lives. There’s a change between us and I’m thankful for that change because no matter what, we need each other in our lives. There is a connection between us that will never be broken.

3.       While life was going so well horror entered my life. The last week of September, my house was broken into. A lot was lost but no one was hurt. My dad called me at while I was at work to hurry home and there is when I learned all that was gone, forever. I will not get into details since I don’t want to break down once more. Currently, we’re still dealing with this dreadfulness and hope that we will be able to get past it all by the end of this month. The insurance claim is such a long and tedious process. This event changed me, I feel as though I can’t trust anyone but I shouldn’t keep living like this. I need to push through and find myself once more. While there is evil in this world, there is also good. There is family that will hold me and care for me though I’m fully grown. Make dinner and let me know this too will pass with time. All I need is time. There are friends who keep me in their thoughts. Send me a thoughtful card that brings tears to my eyes because I was thought of. Get in contact with me though they have busy lives, make time for me. I have a loving husband that vows to make things right though we both know how impossible that is. Through this all I can still smile and laugh and get past it all because in all reality, there is nothing left for me to do but push through. I will be me again.

4.       I’ve deleted my Facebook. I truly needed to get away from all that social networking. I didn’t see the use of it in my life and it was starting to be such an addiction while I tried to find a purpose for it in my life. So now, it’s gone. Yes, I may go back to it in the future but this won’t be until months from now. I need something more creative in life and so I’ll spend more time focusing on my blog. A friend of mine said that tumblr might be my cup of tea and so I’ll be trying that out. I’ll make sure to post my link once I have it up and running.

This is my life at the moment, it’s been hard but I’m still finding reasons to smile.

"Sisters" A forward that helped...

A friend of mine sent me the below forward and it brought warmth to my heart. I have been going through a rough patch. Many of you don’t know that I suffer from depression and social anxiety. It’s the worst thing to go through when all you want is to be happy and then gradually darkness creeps into your life and in a blink of an eye you realize that you’re in that dark hole yet again. Nothing can get you out and only with time you will be yourself again. Yet, this darkness is a part of me. Not many people understand that side of my life. Yes, I have a lot of beautiful things going on in my life but depression and anxiety isn’t a choice. No one would ever choose to feel this way.

The forward that my friend sent me helped me with something that I have been thinking about a lot. Growing up I was told that family were the only friends that you needed in life but lately I’ve notice that I feel I’m missing out in something…

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'

What a funny piece of advice! The young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother.

She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end. BUT...Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you....Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

Over the years I have lost many girlfriends for one reason or another. I have been hurt and I have hurt and it’s painful to realize that you hurt someone as someone has once hurt you. Many times I sit and realize that I don’t really have many close friends and I tell myself there is nothing wrong with that but there is. I don’t have girls’ night out; when I want to plan a dinner or event I realize that my guest list is very short and almost non-existing. Thankfully I have Mr. Husband and he loves spending time with me and he loves to go shopping with me but he is a guy and I do know that there are times in which he doesn’t feel like going out and doing the girly stuff. Who am I left with then?

This is what I plan for this year, the few friends I do have, the ‘sisters’ that I do have, I plan to grow closer to them and I can only hope that they too will feel the same. I hope that they will accept me and not question why the sudden change. It’s something that I know I need and it’s a change in my life that I need. What a better time to start this then the month of love and friendship!

Wish me luck and please let me know your thoughts. I love when I get notices that someone commented on my posts. Thank you my faithful readers, you light up my day!

Busy with loving life!

It's only Saturday night and already I have had such a fun weekend!

Friday: Worked 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., it was a half day for me since I was going to have to work a few hours on Saturday for the CBPA 2010 December Graduation. After work I met up with Celestie and we had lunch at Applebees. 2 for $20 lunch meal! YUM! After that we took off to Micheal's and bought a few things we needed for our Christmas gifts we're making.

I have been working on making or rather drawing on white ornaments for my work peoples. I hope that they will like them and place them on their tree:

Some of them have their name in the design while others have their name on the back of them because well they were made just for them!! I wonder why I have never thought of this before, either way I'm happy that I thought of it this year! Last year I made them baked goods and the year before that I made them scarfs.

After our shopping at Michael's we went to Starbucks for a drink and some good old girl talk. I made up my mind then that I was going to go to Disneyland with her and her boyfriend David, though I felt very tired.

That night we took off to Disneyland so that we could check out ElecTRONica. Juan and I were going to just buy a park hopper but ended up just buying the deluxe annual pass so that we can go whenever we want. Here are the pictures of our fun Disneyland night:



There was just about NO parking that we had to end up parking in the Toy Story Parking lot and take a bus into the park!



Going into ElecTRONica!

First drink and only drink that night!

Why yes, the glass does light up and we got to keep it!

HEHE Disneyland hired GoGo Dancers!!!

TOO many lights!! We hide from them under Celestie's hood!

TRYING to look cute!

Pee-a-boo!!! Waiting for Tower of Terror!

Drinks in hand! Cheers!!!

It felt like Grad Night all over again!!!

The night was amazing but I ended up getting sick after the one ride we got on. I didn't have dinner and with the one STRONG drink I had and then with the going up and down on the ride...well I got sick and just about threw up but still it was a fun night and we plan to go back again but this time we're having dinner before we go! Gotten be smart about these things. The only thing that we didn't like was that there were little kids all over the place. YES it is Disneyland but it is also a type of club scene and the last thing you want to see when you're drinking and having a good time is a two year old on the couch in front of you. Either it's a must! if you plan to go to Disneyland make sure to stop by California Adventure after 7:00 p.m.

Saturday: Got up early and headed off to work for the December Graduation lunch which we have been planning. The food was yummy and there was an OKAY turn out. I guess a lot of people just didn't want to be at school for like four hours.

After work I got home and my baby little brother wanted me to take him to the bookstore to buy a book. I was more than happy to take him! The book wasn't at the bookstore so we took off to Target in hopes to find it there and we did! He was so happy! It was a Lego book that he had wanted to buy at the book fair at school but he didn't have enough money at the time. Have I mentioned that my little brother is my Godson? Yes, Juan and I baptized him this past September and I am taking it very serious.

Since we were at Target and I had my ten kids that we were buy gifts for we decide that it would be good for my baby brother to learn a lesson and to help us pick out the gifts they had on their wish card. My sister in law Jeanny works for Well's Fargo and they always get cards from an Orphan Outreach program so that if people can they can buy them Christmas presents. This year I got ten kids and we bought them the best toys we could find. Diego (little brother) had so much fun helping us pick out the toys but he also felt sad that these kids didn't have families. He has such a bit heart and there are so many things that make him feel sad when he finds out just how sad life can get.




Sorry for the crappy picture, my phone needs a flash.

 

 So I had a busy two days and now I can finally relax and do what I love, write! I have been taking pictures with my new camera but I'm thinking I need a new notebook because mine is over four years old and it is getting pretty slow and annoying. Yeah I don't think that I will be getting that any time soon.

I hope you all are enjoying the blog thus far!

My goodness where did the weekend go?

I only did two of the things that were on my to do list. I had dinner with the Husband and I went to work and got out an hour early. Everything else was dropped.

Celestie, Vero, ME!

Friday Night: This was Juan's night out and so instead of being at home waiting for him to get home I called over my girls (Vero & Celestie) and we planned a little night, well it wasn't really planned. We just got together and just went with the flow.

First Stop: Starbucks, well actually we WERE going to go to El Torrito and have drinks there BUT they now have a $5 cover charge! Vero was going to meet up there but we ended up meeting at Starbucks, had a very yummy drink with some GODIVA, well Celestie and I did (sorry for not sharing VeroBabies).

Second Stop: Mu, a place in Redlands that Vero use to hang out at. It was pretty nice and laid back. My goodness, there are many dressed up drunk people. NOT very classy! The three of us had a drink and then Vero had to take off to pick up her hubby from work. She took a picture of the three of us but I have yet to get it, so I'll post that later. Celestie did take a picture of me though when she made me down a drink (SEE RIGHT).

Third Stop: TGI Fridays. I normally don't go to this restaurant because I just have never really liked it but since we were only going for drinks I thought well why not!? So Celestie and I ended up there and her friend was working at the bar so we got some yummy drinks. We talked, we laughed and had an amazing time together! I had forgotten just how much fun it is to hang out with my girls. I just hope we get to hang out together again VERY soon! Maybe dinner this week!

Saturday: Juan and I had a bit of trouble waking up because well we hadn't been out until 2 a.m. in a very long time. We don't even have kids and get we stay in like an old couple. True story. When we finally got out of bed we were on a mission! Get Christmas shopping done once and for all! We did! Well other than one gift, we were just so tired and worn out that we just didn't end up going to get his boots, but we will this weekend or even during this week. I crashed out on the couch at 8 p.m. and no one, not even Pucca was able to wake me up!
Sunday: Slept in, (though I had gone to "bed" early) and then we were up again to TRY to get the last few things off our list (Juan's dad). It didn't happen. Well one very important thing we did do was go out and get Juan's Christmas present. A Springfield XD .45 long barrel. Yes, I am getting my husband a gun. He has always wanted one and so this is the year in which he will get it. I was going to surprise him with it but I was told it was best for him to be able to pick it out. Now before y'all get scared he said that he will NOT have any ammo in the house ever. We will just buy it when we go to the shooting range. Need not worry! I use to be deathly afraid of guns but once he taught me to handle one and shoot one I had no problem with them ever again.  

I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do but the weekend did not go to waste. I had fun with my girls and then fun with the Husband! Overall, it was an awesome weekend!