“You’re so pretty!”
These are words I never expect anyone to tell me. Why? Well I don’t think I’m pretty. I’ve never seen myself as a pretty girl. When I was younger I was always the one chasing not being chased. Guys never asked me out in high school and the one year I was single in college I really didn’t get any attention. When I would get some attention it would be because my best friend at the time would make me chaperon her dates. The guys would then get to know me and would then somehow be interested in me. How I saw it, it wasn’t because of my looks but because of my personality. That’s what I think gets guys attention. I’m sweet, nice, loving, smart, witty and I know how to take a joke.
Yesterday at work I was told that I’m always looked at. That I’m seen as eye candy to the men that I work with, now when I was told this I just laughed! Me? Eye candy? What curl joke are they trying to play on me? I dress preppy, conservative and try to always cover up but I guess there are times that I am busting out when I don’t intend for that to happen. I guess it’s true but no one ever makes it obvious because I don’t notice it.
Then one of the student assistants came in to have me sign off on paperwork and hung out in the office. I for one think that it’s because she has a crush on my assistant. Well yesterday she said she loves coming into our office because it’s always so welcoming and cheerful. Then she said, “Plus I like Chuck and you’re so pretty!” That took me off guard. I was sure I misunderstood but she ran out of the office back to the second floor before I had a chance to say anything. I then asked Chuck (my assistant) what she said and he looked at me serious “She said YOU’RE SO PRETTY” he even made it a point to point right at me (as if there is anyone else in the office). Needless to say I was in shock all day and still am.
I’m pretty? People think I’m pretty? There are beautiful girls that think I’m pretty? Really? When did this happen? Why can’t I see it? I thought that maybe I’m cute but pretty? Eek, that just seems too much for me to even think as a reality. I’ve always heard “oh you would be so pretty if…” and so because I could never change that IF I always thought okay I’m not. Yet, now I’m starting to think that maybe, just maybe I am… I need to look at myself in the mirror and just say “Debbie, you’re pretty” and I need to believe it. One day I will…
