Three and a half years later and I still don't know...

Back in the summer of 2007 I graduated with my bachelors in English with a concentration in Creative Writing. Very impressive and surprising right? As I have stated before, I never thought of getting my masters degree in anything and being the first in my family to obtain a degree I honestly thought I was done. I've done what others in my family have not and I've set an example. I made my parents proud and I for a moment I was proud of myself as well.

A year later I got a good state job at CSU, San Bernardino in the Public Administration office and then in less than two years I was promoted in that same department. While I love my job and I'm good at my job I feel that I need more. My classes are paid for here at CSUSB. All I really need to pay for are my textbooks so since I have this wonderful opportunity I should just get my master's degree, right?

I have been torn though, I feel that I just need to "Man Up" and make a decision already!

At first I was thinking I would get my MFA, Masters in Fine Arts with a concentration in Creative Writing. What am I going to do with this degree? Honestly. Nothing. One of my goals in life is to be published but I don't need a degree to have my work published. I just need to push myself, work hard and be dedicated with my work. So why waste another two years on a "fun" degree when I can get something that will help me.

Now, for some background on what I do at my job. I help MPA students get their degree. I advise them, mentor them, and guide them through the program. I help the professors and I manage the department. All the professors ask me from time to time why I'm not getting my MPA...I never have a good answer for them. The reason I have stayed away is because, I think it might be too hard. In any master's program students must maintain a 3.0 GPA, I'm terrified that I will not be able to do that and I will let myself down. I'm terrified because I will be showing a whole new side of myself to my co-workers/professors. How smart I really am not...

I feel that enough is enough though, I need to just grow up and do something that will mean something in my life. A masters degree in Public Administration will do just that, at least I think so. This time around I will be the first in my family to go after a master's degree and so I want to make the right choice, I don't want to fail. I have already reached out to a few professors and have asked for their advice, I've even asked a few MPA alumni and current students what they think about the program and the work load.

Talking to Mr. Husband he feels that it would be best for me to go after the MPA. He says that he will support me, he knows that I will succeed and doing something hard will make me grow. Mr. Husband is so smart and so right.

In addition to a masters degree I also want to be certified/fluent in ASL (American Sign Language). Three and a half years ago I took  a course and I fell in love with it, since then I kept saying that I will take more classes, have I? No. So, this will be something else that I will want to accomplish soon enough.

I have so much thinking to do and the clock is ticking... you're thoughts are very much appreciated and so if you want to offer up some advice please do. I'm more than happy to listen and take it all in.

Hard at work during a work event, always working with a smile

Waiting like a kid waits for Christmas...

Yesterday at work a professor, (one that gave me a lens for my camera) asked if I had my Nikon with me. He wanted to take a picture of a man that was waiting to get his taxes done by the VITA students. The man had this amazing face, not beautiful but just amazing. Just looking at him you could tell that he has lived a hard life but a beautiful life. I kind of kicked myself in the butt for not having my camera and it would have been rude to go and take your camera phone and ask to take his picture. At least with a SLR camera you will look professional and not scare him off.

I for one do not take my camera with me to work and he was surprised. He said that if I really want to get my money out of it and take it serious then I should have it with me EVERYWHERE. He's right. I haven't really been using my camera and there have been times in which I wished that I had my camera with me to take a picture of something. Plus having my camera with me will help me with my blogging.

The reasons that I don't like taking my camera everywhere are:

1. I don't want to get my camera and lenses stolen. Let's be realistic, EVERYONE knows what a camera bag looks like. Everyone knows when something good is in there. I, at times have to walk to my car at night and I do not want to have to run to my car so that I don't have to worry about someone snatching my camera.

2. I hate the look and feel of my camera bag, it's big and ugly. Mind you, this is one of the nicer camera bags. I didn't pick it out either, it came with the bundle.

3. I don't want to have to carry two big bags with me to work and class. It's bad enough that people at work think I'm an odd ball because of my big Juicy bag.

So what is the solution? I buy and get a cute camera bag. Do these exists? YES! I have been looking around and finally I just made myself buy one.



http://www.epiphaniebags.com/

This will be the bag that I will be getting! I wanted it in purple BUT I would have to wait until April for the purple one so I got it in black because black goes with everything right?

This bag is amazing! It can hold the following:

1 15" macbook pro with battery cord, 1 camera body with lens attached, 1 long lens, 2 extra lenses ,wallet, keys, cell phone, and other miscellaneous personal items.

This is amazing for me because what did I just get this past weekend?! A macbook pro! Sure mine is only 13" but hey as long as it isn't bigger than 15" it's all good. What I love is that no one will be able to tell that it is holding a SLR camera. Sure it will look like a school bag but I don't mind.

So my readers, soon all my posts will have very amazing photos!

What do you want me to take pictures of? What do you want to see from my beautiful everyday life?

That Holiday so Many Love to Hate

Remember grade school?

When every one of us would be excited about passing out valentine cards, candies, goodies? Everything was so much simpler then. There were no couples, well no real serious ones. There was no drama. Everyone was shown love and everyone received something that day. Now, oh how time has changed us! Why is it that after grade school we ended this tradition?

What changed? Why is it that we no longer let our friends know just how much they means to us? Have we forgotten just how important our friends are to us? Aren't they still? To me the few that I have, I hold them near and dear to my heart. I may get upset and cry over the things that they do that cause some pain but I get over it, forgive and move on. I'm sure that from time to time I cause pain to my fellow loved ones. I don't mean to... but that is a whole different story and there is no need to get into that.

Either way, the silly goose that I am, this year again I am sending out valentines day cards to let them know that they are loved. We need to remember that Valentines day is not only for couples, for people in love... it is also for friendship! We must not forget about our friends this day, our single friends, our married friends and our coupled up friends. Everyone needs to be loved. Lets let go of the bitterness some of us hold for this hallmark holiday and celebrate it for everyone that we love.

Buy a bag of candy, chocolates and just hand them out to your family, friends, co-workers. Everyone that you want to show that they are cared about! I'm sure that every person that you remember that day will be thankful for it! Even the girl at work that gets the dozen roses, sure she has someone loving her but I'm sure she will also love to feel appreciated as a friend, sister, mother, grand-daughter and so on. Either way, don't let this upcoming holiday bring you down because if you're not in a relationship I'm sure you are still LOVED!

While I have many friends I love these two are the ones that I feel are always around and I can count on but still... this year I plan to change that. I plan to hang out with many more of my girls!

So girls, guys all of you! Remember your friends and all your loved ones this year... be the first to make the change.

Reading for Pleasure

I use to read a book a week and sometimes I would be really committed and read two books a week! 

Not anymore. There are times in which I just stop reading an nothing seems interesting.

Last week during one of my many trips to Target I was looking at the books. I had been wanting to go back to my reading for pleasure but nothing ever caught my attention. Then I saw this book:

If you don't already know, Elizabeth Gilbert is the author to Eat, Pray, Love. I read this book last year and I even bought it for a few people because I loved it so much. I took a lot from that book. So I figured this book would give a lot just like the last. So far in my reading I have gathered that protagonist did not want to marry her sweetheart. In fact they had decided that they would do everything possible to NOT get married.

Now, why would I be interested in a book like this? Well I once never wanted to get married as well. I also have quiet a few friends that never want to get married so I'm reading this book for myself and for them. I tend to always be the guinea pig either by choice for force.

So...as I'm reading the book I'm sure a lot of thoughts will come to mind and so a lot of blogs will come of these thoughts...

SOMEONE GOT A MACPRO BOOK!

Meet my new tech best friend! Yes, I Deborah Grijalva de Zamorano now owns a MAC! I had been complaining about my PC for so long. I was sick of it, it was slow and I didn't even like blogging from it anymore. I guess Mr. Husband felt sorry for me and today when we went to Victoria Gardens we went to the Apple store to look around...

I guess Mr. Husband had a little plan up his sleeve and this is now my Love Day gift! Best gift ever!!! Now what did I get him? Well I got him an X Box 360. Yeah, we kind of spoil each other. This is my second post this my new MAC and I am LOVING it! I truly feel that with a new notebook I am going to really be able to take my writing serious. I was only writing in little journals because I hated my PC so much. Not no more!!! 

Dinner with my Spain Traveler

A little over three weeks ago my friend Vero took off for her trip to Spain. Well, it wasn't really like a trip vacation but rather a missionary work. My friend Vero has a strong passion and love for God, she wants to share that with the world.

She is one of my best friends and I am so thankful that she understands me and accepts me as I am. During the time she was away I missed her so much. I think I was even going through withdraws, she is after all one of the only friends that shares the same passion as I do. We paint together, talk art together, and we share a passion for being creative.

As soon as I found out she was back in the states I texted her and it was one of the best feeling in the world to wake yesterday and have a text message from her! Lucky for me she was up to have dinner with me. I was thinking I wasn't going to see her for days because she would need the rest after her 22 hours travel!

We met up at Mimi's restaurant where I actually ended up ordering mahi mahi for the first time EVER with white rice, this my readers is unheard of! I do not eat fish but I thought why not try it out...

This must be one of the most healthy meals that I have ever had! It was so yummy and I can't wait to have it again. Finally I find a fish that I enjoy and it isn't tuna!

Vero had teriyaki chicken since she missed asian food so much while in Spain. We're both very picky eaters but we know what we want and stay away from what we don't like.

We missed each other so much and we talked for so long! I'm so excited for what she plans to do and that she was able to see one of her dreams come true! I was so jealous she went to Spain but this too is one of her dreams and so I was happy for her!

She brought me back a yellow fan from Spain which I LOVE! It reminds me of her because of how she always wears yellow in one way or another. She is one of the few people that I know that can pull off yellow! It's amazing how we want the same things in life though. This year we both plan to get pregnant and we want to really find out what we want in life with our career. We both love the arts and what that to be a big part of our lives! We also want to be more social this year and plan to really put ourselves out there. It's hard for us but it's something we need to do we feel.

I'm so happy and thankful to have my best friend back and I can't wait to see what she does with her life! 

"Sisters" A forward that helped...

A friend of mine sent me the below forward and it brought warmth to my heart. I have been going through a rough patch. Many of you don’t know that I suffer from depression and social anxiety. It’s the worst thing to go through when all you want is to be happy and then gradually darkness creeps into your life and in a blink of an eye you realize that you’re in that dark hole yet again. Nothing can get you out and only with time you will be yourself again. Yet, this darkness is a part of me. Not many people understand that side of my life. Yes, I have a lot of beautiful things going on in my life but depression and anxiety isn’t a choice. No one would ever choose to feel this way.

The forward that my friend sent me helped me with something that I have been thinking about a lot. Growing up I was told that family were the only friends that you needed in life but lately I’ve notice that I feel I’m missing out in something…

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'

What a funny piece of advice! The young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother.

She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end. BUT...Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you....Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

Over the years I have lost many girlfriends for one reason or another. I have been hurt and I have hurt and it’s painful to realize that you hurt someone as someone has once hurt you. Many times I sit and realize that I don’t really have many close friends and I tell myself there is nothing wrong with that but there is. I don’t have girls’ night out; when I want to plan a dinner or event I realize that my guest list is very short and almost non-existing. Thankfully I have Mr. Husband and he loves spending time with me and he loves to go shopping with me but he is a guy and I do know that there are times in which he doesn’t feel like going out and doing the girly stuff. Who am I left with then?

This is what I plan for this year, the few friends I do have, the ‘sisters’ that I do have, I plan to grow closer to them and I can only hope that they too will feel the same. I hope that they will accept me and not question why the sudden change. It’s something that I know I need and it’s a change in my life that I need. What a better time to start this then the month of love and friendship!

Wish me luck and please let me know your thoughts. I love when I get notices that someone commented on my posts. Thank you my faithful readers, you light up my day!